The End

by Josh Belville

/
1.
i never felt so far away i never felt so far away talking to you talking to you i tried to give my heart away i tried to give my heart away talking to you talking to you and now i'm a mess with a heart that's filled with loneliness and now i see you everywhere i go on all these days i walk alone on all these days i walk alone talking to you talking to you you should've thrown this dog a bone you should've thrown this dog a bone talking to you talking to you cause now it's a sin all the envy that i'm wading in and now i complain about everything that's in my brain and now i see you every compass point i'm walking to and now when i sleep it's a struggle just to count the sheep and now... and now...
2.
i ran away when it wasn't my time i took a break when it wasn't my time and now i'm running i'm crawling i'm flying back to you baby just as fast as i can i called your name when it wasn't my time i tried to fight when it wasn't my time and now i'm running i'm crawling i'm flying back to you baby just as fast as i can don't you worry i got you baby i'm running all over the world never stopping unless i'm dropping just to get back to my girl
3.
Refrigerator 02:11
two weeks worth of rotten fish a tupperware full of salad if i don't get these out of here i will contract some sort of malady the first thing after leaving is to throw away all of your shit in the fridgerator seven years of boca burgers a thousand trips to trader joe's some kind of tofu mistake it all has to go chorus i just want some room in my refridgerator! i have got a hankering for some kind of sheep shank or indescribable meat product ooh it makes my mouth all watery i'll wash it down with hefeweisen-- i know you hate hefeweisen-- and when i'm done i'll clear the fridge of every last healthy vestige of you! chorus x2 w/coda
4.
every day at work i think about your arms and the tiny hairs that tickle at my skin of the bruises in a line along your shins and the scream on the stairs that caused alarm on the train back home i wonder if you're there shooting arrows at the target in the backyard you once said to me that archery is hard but you tend to make that arrow go anywhere i proclaim that you have shot me in the heart and you're more worried about the loss of blood oh jamie, why did ever we part? in the window are the drawings we both made two stick figures holding sticky hands and by the shoebox full of rubber bands are our priceless picures saved in rubbermaids i keep your best perfume beside my bed when i sleep i smell you running through my head please believe me when i say our lives have gone a bit astray but i hope you'll be my lover in the end i proclaim that you have shot me in the heart and you're still worried about the loss of blood oh jamie, why did ever we part? we've got a history that's full of random casualties but i can't seem to separate the love i have for you with all the broken plates and every miserable date oh jamie, jamie what do i have to do to forget you? every night at home i watch tv alone desperate housewives doesn't seem that funny now and i hope you're watching too, and wond'ring how you could watch a show so vain and overblown i proclaim that you have shot me in the heart but now i know how to pull the arrow out oh jamie, why did ever we part?
5.
i am tethered to your arm once again you make the blood beat fast in my brain getting dizzy from adrenaline my heart can't keep up with the strain of you next to me it's like radioactivity oh i see stars when i see you like being punched out by sugar ray leonard a waltz in three-four time will do but i'm feeling quite a rock beat in my chest the days feel like spring all the time even in minus twenty-nine looking at you is like looking at sunlight and when you smile it feels so bright and warm, like maui! it's like radioactivity oh i feel sick when i'm with you i drank too much love potion number nine if i am rubber and you are glue then baby i'll stick to you i'll rope in the moon for you just like jim stewart did it's a wonderful life cause it is when i'm with you chorus 1 chorus 2 chorus 1 x2
6.
Solipsizing 03:06
we took our last trip home we took our last trip home and i was dizzy from the sun on the floor that night on the floor that night i saw a vision and i began to run i saw the pieces i saw the pieces of our lives all on the ground i tried to pick them up i tried to pick them up but they kept falling down you're in the bathroom crying i'm on the floor solipsizing and when your mother calls and when your mother calls tell her i'm not there i put gas in the car i put gas in the car and i don't even care how much it costs you're in the bathroom crying i'm on the floor solipsizing i found a new way out i found a new way out and i didn't need the drugs you keep the percoset you keep the percoset cause i'm having more fun without it you're in the bathroom crying i'm on the floor solipsizing
7.
spending all my evenings at the bar i don't even own a car i walk everywhere and all these buildings tower over me as high as i can see do i miss the big sky? oh, pdx, call me home i am wandering through your streets and i can't help feeling all alone everyone is looking just the same the peacoat is to blame bundled up for winter i am waiting for my time to come when i can feel the sun and whisper no more secrets oh, pdx, call me home i am wandering through your streets and i can't help feeling all alone i have tried so hard to be so independent i've got no one talk to but you and you're so far away from me
8.
portland when i wake up in the morning i say a little prayer i usually do it in my underwear to a possibly existent god i ask for health and care and then i shave off all the right side of my hair baby when i come home after work i try to find you with telepathy sometimes i forget your name is bethany and so into the minds of all i shout "hey girl i seem to know! hey girl i made out with after the viva voce show" i want you in my arms as we walk down to the coop store to buy some eggs from top organic farms no cause for alarm be you vegan, or freegan or just another bundle of organs oregon organs baby when i take you out to dinner we first stand in a line everyone goes everywhere all the time in a rain we call a sprinkle as we wait for seats assigned i wonder if my credit card will be declined portland i am lost within your bookstores your faithful stapled zines and all the coffeeshops and breweries inbetween even the faux eyeglass'd hipsters in their ever-skinny jeans can't stop the tumbling of love that i am feeeeeling i want you on my lawn like a queen set out to demonstrate a victory to all her willing pawns still you must be calm be you christian, or fishmen or just another bundle of organs oregon organs lately i've been finding myself waning and waxing when i can and gibbering when such attitudes are in demand and when i'm blue i pull the seashore from virginia to japan i pull it up like blankets with my moony hands then i find your shape in my mind arrange the blankets thus sometimes when it's dark it's like the two of us like ursa major i'm the big spoon you never make a fuss in silence i can make out your voice -- just i want you by my side while the hippies flaunt their canisters of doctored weed and hemp shirts tied and dyed hang on for the ride lest we crash and the streets are littered with all of our organs oregon organs
9.
this is the start of the conversation that tore us apart and i can see your hands on the wheel like so red knuckles heart beating overflow if we're gonna stop on the side of the street there better be the promise of body heat skin touching skin and nose to nose everybody knows i can't relate to the indecision you often create it seems there is a world that you're making up your future's in the bottom of a tea-filled cup can't you see the clouds are a symbol too? so's the gum on the bottom of your shoe i tried to speak but my mind froze everybody knows and i had a melancholy time pouring through your afternoon shoes trying to find any hint of any news but all i found were crumpled up hate letters your spelling's not much better than skin from those who decompose everybody knows this is the end of the early mornings i had to pretend to be a better boyfriend and let you sleep soul-sucking heartbreaking bleating sheep now i've got the time to just fade away i can sleep all fucking day there's no comparing cons and pros everybody knows
10.
Vino 02:55
that bottle of wine from 1969 i broke it all against the wall and oh it felt so fine now i got these tannin stains that look like someone got their brains smashed in these souvenirs from paris just last year they went out with the garbage along with all my tears a summer spent in misery i should've hopped out of that tree when i had the chance i was in a trance! i was attracted to refracted light and not the simple posture of your stance where was the romance that antique chair that you bought on a dare it's kindle for my fireplace and you don't even care it smells like lavender, i swear the burning of your antique chair and all your dreams distant but once agleam are now evaporating like quickly rising steam a summer spent in misery i should've hopped out of that tree when i had the chance i was in a trance! i was attracted to refracted light and not the simple posture of your stance where was the romance

about

This is my last album! It's pretty lo-fi. If you buy it, you'll get a couple bonus tracks. I hope you enjoy it, and thanks for listening to my music.

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released January 1, 2014

Josh Belville - errything
Drums courtesy of Hydrogen! It's a great drum tracking program, go download it now! (just google it ya dingus)

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Josh Belville Portland

Actor/musician living in Portland, OR.

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