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Reflection 6 (Passion)

from Reflections on 33 by Josh Belville

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lyrics

nobody told me
when i was a kid
that i had to cultivate passion
so i did what i did
played video games in the basement

nights spent alone
in the room where i hid
squirreled away from popular fashion
never concluded
that this life could be a detriment

now that i'm older
life's largely the same
and i've got no one but me to blame
lithely and listlessly lolling about
no sense of purpose, no twist to my shout

there's no right way to live
there's never a way to go backwards
or even stand still
but i am trying my damnedest these days
to keep myself free from the harm
of a life unfulfilled

she was a pipe dream
and me just a plumber
whose nightmares kept clogging the toilet
how i tried to snake out
the shit overflowing in my mind

i called her sweetheart
and she held on tight
while my attitude turned into poison
the slow acting kind
you don't know you're dead til you're dying

she's not the only
disaster i've made
when life gives me lemons i craft a grenade
blow up relationships, get flack for flak
even then my loves chide me for lack of attack

chorus

oh lord i fight
every night for control
conflating the patterns
weaving roots in my soul
these doldrums catch like netting
tearing all that i love
left me broken and battered
hoping that when push comes to shove

credits

from Reflections on 33, released July 27, 2020

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Josh Belville Portland

Actor/musician living in Portland, OR.

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