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Devastation Gives in the Boo

from The History of a Nervous Path by Josh Belville

/

lyrics

1.
i thought
life was getting easy
now that
i am in my thirties
but i'm
still a
floundering man

there's no
other way to say it
tidal
waves try to erode it
but i'm
staring
at my
death

there's always something buzzing
in the back of my mind
why can't i just be happy?
oh, i'm bursting with decay
why can't this feeling just go away?

there's no
end to this delusion
i go
where i see illusion
steep my
brain in
fictional worlds

dark is
my bedroom at all times
writing
songs with some half-assed rhymes
sleeping
until
i'm dead

please don't complete this sentence
don't ever tell me the odds
call the cops if i stop breathing
oh, the sunset looks okay
but why can't this feeling go away?

i'm looking straight at you
when devastation gives in the boo

i tried
all my damnedest
to find
solace in this
(never the only one
always the lonely one though i know)

2.
i
never called you boo
but i thought of you
when i wanted to
there
is a silent wall
in between us all
can't you hear it fall?
there's
no mistaking, i'm
just a paradigm
who's run out of time
you
left a bag of bones
full of pheromones
and some cursed unknowns
life
looking for a sign
trying to unwind
this raveled road
i'm drowning on
dragging you along
letting go before
i find a way to
trap your mind

i've got a great life
i'm just sad all the time
all of my family loves me
i'm just sad all the time
i've got a perfect life
i'm just sad all the time
all of my friends adore me
i'm just sad all the time

(he's got a great life)
i'm just sad all the time
(all of his family loves him)
i'm just sad all the time

3.
i'm alive
and i am numb with wanting
tell me who
tell me who i am
it's contrived
but i can't feel much feeling
tell me why
tell me why i can't
there are days
down in the cellar
where it's dark
and nothing wants to light
and there are nights
when i am restless
can't contain the desire fight

sunlight shines
into my dark bedroom
i arise
to greet the afternoon
not so fine
but adequately simple
i devise
a plan for my room
rearrange
all the pieces
find a space
for every little thing
rest assured
that i will rend asunder
this decay
i will find a way

every step
finds me going forward
every breath
strengthens my attack
there's a boon
in picking a direction
heading out
and never looking back

there's a path
that winds around your ending
we all choose
to stick to it like glue
but i'm glad
that i could wrench myself free
when devastation
gave in the boo

credits

from The History of a Nervous Path, released May 12, 2021
josh belville - the whole shebang

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Josh Belville Portland

Actor/musician living in Portland, OR.

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